only the 3rd level of hell

It seems I have been working forever.

It seems I have asked so many ways.

And still it remains that everything must be

settled in battle.

I just want someone to help my kiddo and end this crazy hellish way to be.

And making me wait is torture... and yanking my chain this morning was cruel.

It was unkind in so many ways.

First a brief history of the last 5 day

Wednesday, June 3rd. Didn't come home until almost 8pm, no phone calls, etc and had a bike of dubious sources (it is possible he had it with the other kids' permission but I couldn't get him to even give me a last name or a phone number)

Thursday, June 4th. Invited an unknown number of kids over to the apt. after school where they drank, got high (but, Mom I made them smoke in the bathroom) and made a huge mess with stuff sprayed on the walls and all over counters and such

Friday, June 5th. Was suspended for 5 days for possession of pot and two kinds of booze. The school will be taking no other action.

Saturday, June 6th. Was told he could go to party at Stephanie's till late (10pm) because he had a ride home but ONLY if he called when he got to the party so I could talk to parents (yes, I was wearing rose colored glasses). Of course no phone call and he came home at a quarter to 12.

Sunday, June 7th. He had permission to hang out at the game shop on shattuck for a while and play magic and hang out with the "girls" but general rules applied - Come home before streetlights came on, call me every two hours or check in with his brother. I was unable to track him down and ended up calling the cops at 9:30 pm... when I was on the line with the cops he finally called in... He was at tom's and would be home (with escort) in 30 min. He was home at 20 til 11 but he did have an escort.

Monday, June 8th. Went to Dr. W's on his own more or less on time. Showed up stinking of tobacco and potentially altered. But did agree to take meds and see Dr. W regularly. When to the 5 pm Draft at GOB with his brother walking him home.

Tuesday, June 9th. I reminded him when I left for work that Dana was coming over to spend some face time before the IEP on thruday. He picked the time for her to come over. When I came home he had made a med. mess of the house... about a trash bag and half of crap sprinkled over the house. And more importantly he wasn't here... this was a 4:45. Dana was going to be here after 5 to meet with him and he knew it. So I started calling people to track him down. When I was doing that his friend Tom let it slip that he hadn't "seen him since he left school today" So it turns out he went to campus. Which is dangerous on so many levels and the place he gets his weed. Grrr. Also to be noted that when I was cleaning up I found a strange pocket knife and an old mint tint full of pot dust and an obvious attempt to burn some insense. And as of this moment he is MIA

So because of today and him obviously not being able to be alone for any length of time I am trying to see what I can do to get some sort of babysitting action organized - I really don't know what else to do. Any ideas?

Things I appreciate about the YK

1. His bright, clever smile
2. His quite concentration when he sketches
3. His social nature
4. His sense of presence with small children
5. His ability to lose himself when engaging with small children and animals
6. His love of science
7. His ability to play a kick-ass game of magic
8. How much he loves his brother
9. That he will kiss me goodbye even in public
10. That he will watch cheesy sci-fi movies with me late at night
11. His love of good, good food
12. His adventurous nature, the boy ate salmon roe just to see what it was like
13. His way good hair
14. His ability to hang with adults
15. His capacity to contribute insightfully to conversations
16. His love of science
17. His facility for making money doing something he likes
18. His love of smelly boy stuff
19. His fashion sense
20. His sense of self
21. His fluctuating voice
22. His natural ability with a camera
23. How secure he is with his sexuality and gender
24. the respect he shows his female peers
25. His bravery in telling a girl he likes how he feels
26. His art. He is really really good.
27. His sense of color
28. His ability to be charming
29. His appreciation of simple pleasures, like clean towels
30. His potential
31. His emerging honesty (I hope to foster)
32. His outstanding spinach casadea
33. His love of lentil soup
34. His salad making accumen
35. His sweet big brown eyes
36. That he like to go swimming with me
37. The look on his face when he changes his mind 
38. His love of good strange stories
39. His black sense of humor
40. His silly times when we play poke
41. when he sings outloud in the car with me
42. His love of Christofer Moore books
43. How much he loves watching the making of parts of movies
44. The love of zombies he shares with me
45. how happy he is with a good holloween costume

More to come...

27k reason's

Wilderness Program is about 440 a day... 60 days plus fee's = 27k

Ouch. That is what it is gonna take to save my kiddo maybe. double ouch