I have worked here for ages it seems.. in my third year. But when I speak it is as if the stupid monkey is talking and I couldn't possibly have a valid opinion. I have to justify everything. And cave into the directives of incompetent people. God, why do I do this to myself. I got really really upset about something this morning. A map I very lovingly drew (16 hours) is getting slammed, dumbed down and and printed looking like shite as well as being off brand after the dumbing down. Maybe I am just over tired but wow, what a shitty day to day experience. And I write stuff off all the time. I found myself repeating things I said a year ago to my old design director to my new design director. Pathetic. It is never going to change here.
It doesn't help that my new boss's boss hates me and it looks to be shaping up that my new design director is going to hate me too. And wow what a demoralizing fucking thing to look forward to coming into everyday.
I have been doing this a long long as time, and either I must suck at it or that being good at your job means nothing... and all that people want is for me to go yes, yes, yes. If someone wants me to do a job please just tell me what you want and don't trouble me about how I get it done.
I guess I am feeling pretty sabotaged. I keep getting fooled. Like a dog being thrown a fake stick... I just keep running out there... and then I do it again. What a goat fuck.
I am sad.
And for my own self and to say it to the world. I am a damn good designer. And I am fucking smart. And all the posers with their fucking fancy titles and degrees can just keep being insecure little asswhipes... it won't make them any good. So there.
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