Wednesday, July 30, 2008

false desperation and genuine crushing loneliness

So lately I have been taking a pass on several romantic (or carnal) opportunities that have come my way. Why? I am genuinely lonely but I guess just not desperate. So why do I feel desperate sometimes? Like there is a giant clock and I am running out of time for finding someone and that being alone is this great curse? I think I will blame it on western consumer culture and the internet. I watched this great bit on stuff last night and it dawned on me that if I hadn't been shopping at the fast food window of amorous connection I wouldn't feel quite so bereft.

So where does that leave me really? Am I actually that powerless to change my own state of existence in the way of a relationship? Or does it speak more to my snobbery in that regard.

All I do know for sure is that I need to stop reading crap and I need to work out more and paint more. Oh and while we are wishing work less.

Disclaimer: Despite the sad, pathetic state of mind that this post implies I am really not feeling all that depressed. I am more blue about my art content generation weekend being canceled than anything else and unlike my love life I might be able to do something about that with the instant satisfaction machine that is craigslist.org

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