God. I am just sad. This sucks. I feel so cut off, angry and hurt. And taken the fuck for granted. I love building things with my friends. I hate being used and disrespected. I am so so so fucking angry and hurt when people treat me like I am their bitch. Just there to toil away for their glory.
I worked really hard on an art project. Now somebody who hurt me and prevented good things from happening to me is getting to do the fun part. And will get all the credit. And that is how it goes.
Creating things, building things involved a certain percentage of work, a certain percentage of pure fun, and a certain amount of PITA (pain in the ass factor).
I choose to be part of somebody else's project. Just because I was part of the project doesn't mean that I was gonna get to do the super fun parts. I didn't protect that part of the work. Now I feel lame. And stupid. And somebody who has been really shitty to me is getting to do that part instead of me. And well just fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. And being clever and artistic FOR OTHER PEOPLE is sometimes really painful and I am going to have to remember that I chose it. And just fucking suck it up.
And I can't talk to anybody about this shit cause the person that is treating me all freaky and crappy is fucking EVERYWHERE… so there are no safe places for me.
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