Letter to x-friend that I won't send

Dear [Friends name removed here],

Over the past few months and especially over the last few weeks things have not gone well between us. Even before the food processor/camp out flake incident you have been really critical and mean with me… and I consequently have spent less and less time around you.

You clearly expressed that my handling of the food processor issue was something that you found highly egregious. And that you were not tolerant of me making any mistakes… when I was more than willing own the mistakes I made. This is what you said when I offered to replace the machine with a brand new temp until I could get you yours back:

"I heard you fine, you don't seem to be hearing me.

I am baffled that you fail to understand that the only way that was
appropriate to deal with a loan like this is to watch over it
personally, to bring it back in your own vehicle, and to personally
bring it back to my house. I am also baffled that you could possibly
think that anything else was acceptable as a response.

The issue I have isn't that you made a mistake, nor am I saying you
overtly tried to screw with me.

The issue is that I told you I had concerns, and then you didn't do
the above. You were careless in the extreme, and I absolutely feel
fucked over by that, specifically as a breach of trust."

I feel sorry for you. If, overtime somebody makes a mistake you take it as a personal attack and an attempt to fuck you over. That is a hard lonely inflexible way to live. I clearly understand we aren't friends anymore because of a difference in philosophical points of view. I think you are a very smart complex person. I don't wish you ill. I do believe there is good chance that I will be treated poorly when around you.

When you walked into NIMBY on any number of occasions you demanded attention. You refused to do anything without being told/supervised and got mad when I didn't have instant answers for you. Very often when working on projects I figure things out as I go. Your lack of patients was a detriment to my enjoyment and productivity.

I think you were less than up front about the campout and your level of participation. You committed to do something and then pulled out at the last min. leaving me fairly screwed. You said you were sick but you were well enough to go work at NIMBY. If you didn't want do it you should have said no when I asked OR have been upfront when you decided you didn't want to go. Instead, you just pretended that you weren't flaking on me and then found some excuse to flip out on me.

The things you said to me in email about the food processor have damaged our friendship. I know you don't think you did anything and that I was the only one who fucked up. For clarity's sake, your constant shit-fits, and negative snipping at me makes me not want to be around you.

You said at that you felt neglected. I don't know what you goal was by saying that. If you want my time and attention then you have a) ask for it b) accept that sometimes you won't get it and c) not constantly make negative critical remarks to me.

Even after the damage you inflicted over a fucking food processor I was polite to you and gave my time and energy in the XXXXXXX project… and all you did was complain that it wasn't enough. Like I owed you something. I am not responsible for the choices you make. I don't owe you my time an attention. I don't owe anybody my time and attention. If I choose to give it then that is a gift. If I make agreements to share my time and energy and then you complain about the amount and quality of it I am going to walk way.

You look a gift horse in the mouth and you have treated me like your little lackey bitch. Well fie on you.

Your ex friend,


[me]


This letter was written to make myself feel better and get some closure. I never sent it.