In brief. Last night sucked. I hated still feeling connected to him. He sucked at apologizing. Was an utter tool. Too bad for him, he will miss out on all my awesomeness... hell awesome of any kind. He crushes everything good... but he didn't crush me... just a killer potential life long friendship (mourning period pending on my part).
But a few things popped into my head this morning that made me feel totally TOTALLY better.
FACT: Even though all he wants is skinny tall 21 year old porn stars, and he was repulsed by my body... The force of my will, the sheer awesomness of my personality had him naked and at my feet within 3 HOURS OF MEETING ME. Ha! Super ha!
Beauty comes and superficial shit fades... but what I got lasts forever! I don't need to be bitchy, I don't need costumes and props. My crazy ass force of will, bitchin' imagination, huge heart and wicked sick sexuality are bad ass... even that that fool couldn't resist it.
So, I accept myself... I rock, fat ass and all. My body feels good... and while I am realistic about not being everyone's flavor... there are 7 million people in the bay area... and I get hit on plenty by kick ass people who not only are hot, but hot, talented, skilled, smart and funny and just plain GOOOOOOOOD.
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